Saturday, December 02, 2006
If looking at this picture doesn't make you salivate like a rabid swine, well, you're a stronger man than I. Having never actually consumed poutine I can't say with any authority that it tastes any good, but since it comes from Canada, it can't hurt anyone. Sort of like an AIDS monkey at the bottom of a lake -- who's it hurting? No one, that's who. So, why all the saliva, you might ask. Well, truth be told, I just happen to have very active salivary glands. They can be set off by anything at all; the scent of rotten tuna, a deck of cards, the sound of a baby being dropped on its head. There's no telling what sort of stimulation might trigger a river of spit. Sometimes I can't even swallow fast enough to keep up with it, and I get sick as if I drank too much water. When that happens, watch out. I'm like a geyser. A geyser that spews saliva up to twelve feet in any direction.That's not what virtual poutine is about, that's just a little bit of my background. I thought you might like to know a little about me, since you're so interested in what I have to say.
No, virtual poutine is just like virtual marmite or virtual saumagen; it's something you either love or you hate, and something you're going to be very vocal about, whichever side of the fence you dwell on. There is no room for fence sitting, and besides, it'd be uncomfortable to sit on the fence for very long. Before you know it, you've sheared your balls off on the razor wire, and then where are you? You've got to get off the fence to seek medical attention. You've got to come down on one side or the other to call for an ambulance to take you and your torn scrotum to an emergency room. So pick. You're either for virtual poutine or against it. You can't have it both ways.
